Journey to regain confidence and self care as a mom of a special needs child

A big part of self care is knowing your potential.  I was brought up being told that I can do anything that I set my mind to.  When we say things like, I can't do something.. it is limited our own beliefs in ourselves, it's not a matter of I can't; but I won't.  I absolutely refuse to give up, if it doesn't work the first time you have the power to change things so it WILL work! Special needs moms not only advocate for their children, but often enough we forget to advocate for ourselves. Remember that MOMS do have the potential to be and do anything we need for ourselves and it isn't selfish to put our needs first once in a while for the betterment of us and our children. Even moms of special needs children,  need a little coaching.

Monday, My house is a disaster; dishes from the weekend, bathroom remodeling, and both girls were very active with "sibling rivalry". Oh and not to mention I was pretty much a "single" mom because my husband had gotten called out most of the weekend.... I could have done A LOT of things differently but I became very overwhelmed, and I basically shut down. My anxiety and my little bit of OCD is extremely high again.  But it is a brand new week, and I am making a change to better myself so that I can create a postive atmosphere so we can lessen the behavior in the girls. I am hoping to take some time for me today, as I plan on working on my business more. But first once the girls needs are met, and they are satisfied.... it's cleaning day time to try and catch up. "S" will have her therapist here after lunch to work on behavioral needs, so that may help a little...

June 18th, I am going to start blogging more, giving my reflection on the previous week, but also what has helped me with some "coping". Be prepared as I continue my spiritual journey, I may have a few blogs on verses that I found to help me. So my reflection on this week was tough, first week out if school and my special needs child had a lot of challenges.  I definitely lacked on what is most important like self care and patience.  New routine is being established with my daughter and it was quite hard for BOTH of us to adjust. I've never been one to follow a written plan, I kind of go with the flow. I write them down, but keeping track of it with 2 girls is extremely challenging. I have one 10 year old special needs daughter and one 3.5 year old and they LOVE to "feed" off one another more than just the normal sibling rivalry. Our afternoons are usually worse, especially when trying to cook dinner or clean the kitchen.  I live in a 2 bedroom small house, I tr...

 Sorry its been a while since my last post; things have been very hectic as I'm sure that most of you know when you have a special needs child. School is officially over for the year and my daughter just had her moving up graduation; going from FOURTH grade (last year of elementary school) to FIFTH grade (beginning of middle school). Yes, I cried like a baby at her graduation! Not because I was sad she was growing up, but because of her accomplishments that she has overcome in the 5 years she had in elementary school. The struggles she had, were real even fighting through the "covid" pandemic and having a hard time adjusting to video conferencing when she needed the one on one assistance. I just had her sister a few months before the pandemic hit, and trying to get her to focus on her learning as a stay at home mom was very difficult.  Schools in our county opened up to the ones like my daughter who needed the assistance more so than the "normal" kids. And I am ...

 It's been a week since my last post, and I am overwhelmed and stressed to the max! Luckily it is the LAST day of winter break before the girls start school back on monday. It has been a very difficult week from outbursts/meltdowns to doctors appointments.... Several good things happened so it wasn't too terrible. I will explain The week started out rough, and it got me missing my grandmother as she was always my first go to when I needed support. I smelled something funny, so I went to make sure our unit for heating/air was ok. As I rounded the corner of my house, on the corner of my property was a Blue Heron... the reason I mention this is because my grandmother LOVED watching the Blue Herons in the creek by my dad's house. Seeing the Blue Herons remind me of my grandmother, and as long as I lived in my house I have NEVER seen one on my property. This happened to be on the first stressful day with "S" having a meltdown. I like to think that my grandmother sent t...

 Day 4 Recap,  Another typical day in our household, "S" tried her best all day to behave. The morning was very productive, I woke up around 5 am and started my day by prayer and devotional, asking God to comfort my girls and help to give them peace and calmness throughout our day, and giving thanks to all the blessings in my life. "S & J" woke up and got medicine and breakfast, while sitting in the family room to watch cartoons. Once "S" medicine kicked in, again she was helpful in getting some things done (my only wish is that it carries through the rest of the day; work in progress). We put some presents under the tree which proved to be a mistake, because all "S" asks is if she can open them; plus hearing "I'm hungry or I need a snack" every 5 minutes. Still the afternoons prove to be a little difficult, seems that its the time for both girls to become active. Dinner prep is usually hard, I tend to rely on easy dinners becau...

 Day 3 recap.... I am unsure about how I felt about yesterday (day 3). Seems like every day with both girls being home is challenging more each day. The mornings are great once "S" has her medicine, but once they wear off it becomes difficult. I have to admit that it was helpful to have her ABA Tech here to help with her growing behavioral issues. Change is never easy with any child; however "S" seems to really struggle. A lot of her "bad" choices were in the afternoon around the time that her tech came at 3:30pm.  It was hard monday and tuesday because we all were under the weather and I needed to make sure that we were better and house was disinfected before having ANYONE inside to help stop the spread of unwanted germs. Her whole environment changed when winter break started, which I tried my best to accommodate for her.  As a mom of a special needs child, you are NEVER fully aware of how much it takes out of you. Raising children isn't an easy part...

Recap of Day 2, I am still recovering from a head cold, so it made it very easy for the girls to "acts" up. Morning after administration of medicine was off to a good start. Girls were content playing on their Amazon Kids tablets we got for them last christmas. It's cold for them to go outside as we are still getting over colds. "S" actually helped clean up a little bit, putting her toys in her room, while "J" picked up garbage and wrappers from the floor. We took an extra day off from ABA therapy for "S" to help us while recovering to stop the spread of germs. Although the girls were behaving, I still heard " I need a snack" like 20 times since 9am, even though they still had snack in their bowls. Towards 11 am, "S" started getting anxious for lunch as her meds were wearing down, but I'm sure its because they were "bored". Not much to comment on, other than the afternoon was pretty tough, as "J" wa...

 December 20, 2022 Yesterday was the first day of winter break; "S" seemed to be doing alright, had a couple meltdowns throughout the day. It's understandable given her whole routine has changed, and didn't help that I was feeling under the weather with a slight head cold.  One thing I find hard is juggling 2 girls who have totally different personalities. I often have to remind myself to not judge either of them based on their development. "S" learns at a different pace than "J" does. Unfortunately because "J" is still learning and "S" has trouble with behavior, "J" is learning some of her big sisters "bad" habits.  "S" still needs to be reminded that 1. Every action results in either a reward or consequence, and 2. that her little sister follows in her steps and doesn't understand right from wrong yet, just like she doesn't fully understand either. That "S" has the opportunity to...